Here in Florida, lizards run pretty rampant, which may seem kind of scary at first, but really I don't have any issue with them (although I do remember having had some bad dreams where lizards found their way into my mouth for whatever reason while camping or something like that...). In general, I rather like lizards and think they actually provide a pretty useful service in reducing the quantity of mosquitoes, which also run rampant down here in the South.
Unfortunately, I seem to have a penchant for hurting lizards. My most lucid recollection of hurting lizards comes from relatively early on in my childhood. I was playing with a Super Soaker and squirting at various targets (flowers, pool toys, my brother Ed, etc.) when somehow I got the idea to load the Super Soaker with scalding hot water from the kitchen. Eager to test the lethality of such a weapon, the test target happened to be a lizard. After blasting the poor creature for what must have been over a minute, the result was pretty horrifying - the lizard's skin essentially burned off and I can only hope it died without too much subsequent pain. This episode today remains an indelible mark in my mind's eye...
Still yet unfortunately, that is not the end of my history with lizards. In high school, I caught the model rocket bug, and built and launched a number of those Estes rockets. Again, my curiosity got the better of my one day when I decided that watching the rocket launch was not all that interesting because there was no passenger. The solution? You guessed it: capture a lizard for a first "manned" test flight! So, I managed to catch one and placed it carefully in the nose of the rocket, where the recovery parachute was housed. Of course, when properly functioning, the nose would open to deploy the parachute! Needless to say, the lizard did not return with the rocket... and again, I can only hope that it didn't die with too much pain as it was ejected from the rocket when the parachute was deployed...
 |
| I'm pretty sure this is not how my rocket lizard's adventure went... |
Later on in my years, I stopped deliberately harming lizards, either purposely as in Exhibit 1 or incidentally as in Exhibit 2. However, that hasn't stopped inadvertent harm from being done unto lizards due in part or directly because of me.
Lizards often find their way between my window screen and my window, or even into my house, with little hope of escaping. Where possible, I try to guide them out, but my lizard-catching skills are largely diminished from my younger days, and frankly there are a lot more places to hide inside the house than out on a sidewalk. More than once, a poor lizard has passed away, likely from hunger, cold, or a combination of both, either in my house or stuck in the window, leaving a somewhat creepy lizard skeleton behind.
Most recently, however, the incident that caused me to write this post occurred. As I walk towards the parking lot each day after work, lizards that were sunbathing on the south side of the sidewalk inexplicably feel obligated to scurry back across to the safety of the bushes and mulch beds on the north side. Most of the time, they are agile enough to avoid the behemoth human feet crashing down around them, heading towards their cars. However, on this latest incident, a poor unfortunate lizard miscalculated his Death Star Trench run, and despite my most valiant efforts at evasive action, my left foot landed right on top of it. I heard a disheartening "CRUNCH", and immediately hopped away, hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. Indeed, as I surveyed the damage, the worst had occurred. The reptile writhed in pain for a few seconds as parts of its skull could be spotted several inches away...
It's already been several days since this experience, but just thinking about it gives me shivers.
