I'd like to dedicate this song to the Chris and Kaveh, the original members of the "Tri-fectorate"!
Love you guys!
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Friday, February 17, 2012
Engineers Poster
So the latest craze on Facebook is putting up posters describing "What ____ do". I usually don't get caught up in these Facebook group activities, but the "What I Think I Do" panel is spot on!
For that matter, the "What I really do" panel is quite accurate, too...
For that matter, the "What I really do" panel is quite accurate, too...
Monday, December 20, 2010
Monday, November 01, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Baby... Sofio?
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Opulence - I Has It
Video cop-out! Saw this for the first time during a Gator game this season.
Golden grapes? Check.
Real dogs playing poker? Check.
Golden remote? Check.
Miniature giraffe? Checkmate!
Golden grapes? Check.
Real dogs playing poker? Check.
Golden remote? Check.
Miniature giraffe? Checkmate!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Why Athletes Can't Have Regular Jobs
A classic courtesy of Kevin from work, who got it prior to me from some other colleagues here. Enjoy!
Why Athletes Can’t Have Regular Jobs…
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
“I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the Skins say:
“I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,”
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: “To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too.”
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
“He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings…”
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
6. Senior basketball player at UNC:
“I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.”
(Now, that is beautiful!)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
“You guys line up alphabetically by height…” And, “You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle.”
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
“Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.”
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
“That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.”
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
“He's a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is.”
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
“My sister's expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”
(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
“I asked him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’
He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don't care.’”
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F’s and one D:
“Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.”
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
“I can go to my left or right…I am amphibious.”
15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: “Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye.”
Why Athletes Can’t Have Regular Jobs…
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
“I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the Skins say:
“I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,”
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: “To win, I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too.”
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
“He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings…”
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
6. Senior basketball player at UNC:
“I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.”
(Now, that is beautiful!)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
“You guys line up alphabetically by height…” And, “You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle.”
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
“Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.”
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
“That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.”
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
“He's a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is.”
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
“My sister's expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”
(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
“I asked him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’
He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don't care.’”
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F’s and one D:
“Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.”
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
“I can go to my left or right…I am amphibious.”
15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: “Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye.”
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Video Game Obsessions
Checked out this funny article today - I think I'm guilty of about 10 of them! How about you?
Gaming's Most Obsessive Moments
Gaming's Most Obsessive Moments
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Ed, the Hunted Animal
Some fun from our trip to the Great North these past few weeks. Travelogues to come!
Friday, May 07, 2010
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Mother's Day SNL short skit
I wasn't planning on posting again so soon, but this jewel could not be passed up:
Friday, July 24, 2009
The Onion
So, if you're at least as much of an Internet denizen as I am (and that's not saying much), you've probably heard of the fake News website/network The Onion. Yesterday, Ed posted several hilarious videos from The Onion on his blog at TWFC. I highly recommend checking them out!
The recent joke, however, is that The Onion was purchased by a Chinese fish by-product company called Yu Wan Mei. As such, all of their articles now have a hugely Chinese-politically charged flavor to them. Stories such as "Internet Adds 12th Website" and "Toddler Chokes to Death on Taiwanese-Made Plastic Toy" are must reads. Perhaps the most amazing thing to me, however, is the length they went to making this spoof. As you can see, I've hyperlinked the website to supposed parent company Yu Wan Mei. If you visit it, you will see a fully fleshed out company website, complete with promotional videos, product catalogues, and a full Chinese language version of the same site!
It must be nice having a job that requires you to bullshit all day, every day!
The recent joke, however, is that The Onion was purchased by a Chinese fish by-product company called Yu Wan Mei. As such, all of their articles now have a hugely Chinese-politically charged flavor to them. Stories such as "Internet Adds 12th Website" and "Toddler Chokes to Death on Taiwanese-Made Plastic Toy" are must reads. Perhaps the most amazing thing to me, however, is the length they went to making this spoof. As you can see, I've hyperlinked the website to supposed parent company Yu Wan Mei. If you visit it, you will see a fully fleshed out company website, complete with promotional videos, product catalogues, and a full Chinese language version of the same site!
It must be nice having a job that requires you to bullshit all day, every day!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Office Humor from Dad
Some office humor, by way of my Dad!
21 st Century FACTS
Our communication - Wireless
Our phones - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our food - Fatless
Our Sweets - Sugarless
Our labor - Effortless
Our relations - Fruitless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Worthless
Our Mistakes - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our youth - Jobless
Our Ladies - Topless
Our Boss - Brainless
Our Jobs - Thankless
Our Needs - Endless
Our situation - Hopeless
Our Salaries - Less and less
So true, especially that last part!
21 st Century FACTS
Our communication - Wireless
Our phones - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our food - Fatless
Our Sweets - Sugarless
Our labor - Effortless
Our relations - Fruitless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Worthless
Our Mistakes - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our youth - Jobless
Our Ladies - Topless
Our Boss - Brainless
Our Jobs - Thankless
Our Needs - Endless
Our situation - Hopeless
Our Salaries - Less and less
So true, especially that last part!
Saturday, June 06, 2009
Super Mario Bros. Protest at E3
The famous Electronic Entertainment Expo, or E3, took place just this last week. Some highlights from the show were Microsoft's unveiling of Project Natal, a camera-based motion-sensing peripheral that uses the player's body as control input for games. If it works well, there could be some awesome fighting games for XBox 360 in the future!
Less impressive was Sony's motion sensing controller, which was more or less a direct rip-off of the Wii's control scheme. Imitation is the best flattery!
Nintendo had a pretty solid outing themselves. Although no particularly impressive hardware was revealed, the games announced were more than enough to make a fanboy like myself excited: New Super Mario Bros. Wii, Super Mario Galaxy 2, Wii Sports Resort, Endless Ocean 2, and the surprise Metroid: Other M were the big hitters from Nintendo, while third party publishers showcased Ubisoft's Red Steel 2, sporting Wii's new MotionPlus capability, and SquareEnix's Final Fantasy IV direct sequel, which is downloadable off of the WiiWare channel your Wii.
Perhaps the biggest news of E3, however, was the protest below:
Who knew Super Mario Bros. was so offensive?
Less impressive was Sony's motion sensing controller, which was more or less a direct rip-off of the Wii's control scheme. Imitation is the best flattery!
Nintendo had a pretty solid outing themselves. Although no particularly impressive hardware was revealed, the games announced were more than enough to make a fanboy like myself excited: New Super Mario Bros. Wii, Super Mario Galaxy 2, Wii Sports Resort, Endless Ocean 2, and the surprise Metroid: Other M were the big hitters from Nintendo, while third party publishers showcased Ubisoft's Red Steel 2, sporting Wii's new MotionPlus capability, and SquareEnix's Final Fantasy IV direct sequel, which is downloadable off of the WiiWare channel your Wii.
Perhaps the biggest news of E3, however, was the protest below:
Who knew Super Mario Bros. was so offensive?
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Lincoln O'Sirus
For the uninitiated, Lincoln O'Sirus was Kirk Lazarus' character in the fake Vietnam movie, Tropic Thunder, who in turn was Robert Downey Jr.'s character in the movie about Tropic Thunder, also named Tropic Thunder. The series of videos below is "behind the scenes" footage of Kirk Lazarus, the film's "method actor" fully living his role as Lincoln O'Sirus by actually moving in with the actual veteran's family in Texas. Unfortunately, he suffers from a bit of post-traumatic syndrome... Hilarious! Enjoy!
And, as a bonus, here is Tom Cruise's, or Les Grossman's, awesome dance during the credits at the end of the film:
And, as a bonus, here is Tom Cruise's, or Les Grossman's, awesome dance during the credits at the end of the film:
Saturday, January 10, 2009
More Hilarity
I must have missed this in the mayhem at the O'Connell Center... but the commentary really makes this funny. Enjoy!
"Big Game Bob" in his last 5 BCS games
Just wanted to share this with my loyal readers - Since winning the National Championship in 2000, Oklahoma has lost 5 straight BCS bowl games. The captions below tell the story:
The best caption is the one with Boise St. from the 2006 season - Oklahoma got paired with the BCS buster that year and must have thought for sure that they would win, but alas, one of the most memorable trick plays in college football history made sure that it wouldn't happen!
The best caption is the one with Boise St. from the 2006 season - Oklahoma got paired with the BCS buster that year and must have thought for sure that they would win, but alas, one of the most memorable trick plays in college football history made sure that it wouldn't happen!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Obama - McCain Dance Off!
Another cop-out today. I was going to put in a real post, with real musings, but this was too awesome to pass up - the real elections should be based on the results of such an event. Keep an eye out for real musings soon though!
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